Father Awaits Call: Reflections on the Importance of Communicating with Parents
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Father Awaits Call: Reflections on the Importance of Communicating with Parents

The author shares personal experience, recounting his father, who was a man reserved in words. He often called and would say, 'Mom asked me to call,' and then simply ask, 'Hi, how are you and what are you doing? Have you eaten?'

These few phrases held immense meaning for the author because they could heal almost any problem. The author believes that for his father, hearing his voice and knowing he was okay was enough to have a good day.

The author notes that the question 'Have you eaten?' is the first question parents ask us, and these questions remain unchanged even at the end of life. We enter life needing care, support, and greetings, and we leave about the same way.

Scientific research confirms the significance of these small questions. In a study by the University of Wisconsin-Madison, scientists increased the stress level in 61 girls aged seven to twelve. When some girls were helped by their mothers in person, and others over the phone, the hormonal response was almost identical: oxytocin, the bonding hormone, significantly increased, while cortisol, the stress hormone, decreased. Text messages did not have the same effect.

A familiar voice calms us, and the author's father did exactly that in both directions. This is why losing one's voice causes such deep pain. Grief counselors note that the sound of a loved one's voice is among the sensory memories that begin to fade.

The author emphasizes that parents never forget their children's birthdays, considering them turning points in their lives. However, many allow their parents' days to pass unnoticed, turning Mother's Day into a forwarded message and Father's Day into a quick call between work commitments due to being busy.

The Importance of Attending to Parents

The author urges valuing these moments, visiting parents in person, accepting treats, and listening to stories heard hundreds of times. He shares an experience visiting a nursing home where he observed elderly people. Many of them seemed lost without family but found comfort in the company of gathered people.

These people asked very little: recognition of their existence and someone to sincerely say 'hello' to them. Their smiles were priceless. Here, just like at the beginning and the end, were people who once built families and ran businesses, and whom caregivers asked about eating.

They know how to distinguish sincerity from pretense. Many have few plans for the future but try to get the most out of their remaining lives. The author concludes that as a society, we have let these people down.

In the nursing home, one father waited for a call to ask if his daughter had eaten. This call costs nothing but can be the most valuable action of the week.

Practical Aspects of Care

Caring for parents also includes helping them organize their affairs while they can still state their wishes. According to the Sanlam Legacy 2026 survey, conducted as part of National Will Month, only 28% of respondents have a valid will, and 39% of them have not informed their families of its location or contents. Without a will, the law decides who inherits, bank accounts are frozen, and inheritance procedures can take years.

The author advises helping parents create or update a will, finding out where it is stored, and asking them to express their wishes in their own words. Early settlement of the end allows everyone to enjoy this interim period.

Another Greeting

The author plans to continue making this call during travels as a way to greet someone who spoke so much with few words. If your parents are still alive and willing to answer, do not wait to be asked to call; just call. Ask if they have eaten. Remember their birthday the way they always remembered yours. If you pass by a nursing home, stop in and greet someone who has no one to tell them, and do it sincerely. They will understand.

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Financial and Emotional Costs Associated with Women's Safety Measures in South Africa
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Financial and Emotional Costs Associated with Women's Safety Measures in South Africa

Women from South Africa are forced to bear significant financial and emotional costs to protect themselves from gender-based violence. These expenses include the use of panic buttons, attending self-defense courses, and using safer modes of transport.

For millions of women in South Africa, ensuring personal safety goes beyond simply locking the front door or parking the car in a well-lit area. Necessary safety measures include panic buttons, personal safety apps, pepper spray, self-defense classes, stun guns, as well as extra funds spent on safer transportation and security services. Even if each expense item seems manageable individually, collectively they paint a serious picture of what it can cost a woman just to have a chance of getting home safely.

Specific examples of costs include: emergency assistance subscription—49 rand per month; panic tracker—R2,499 upfront plus R99 monthly; self-defense class—R600; pepper spray—about R160; and stun gun—about R380. Calculating a conservative illustrative basket, including one panic tracker, an annual safety subscription fee, one monthly self-defense class, pepper spray, and a stun gun, a woman could spend thousands of rand in the first year of self-defense attempts. This amount does not account for costs related to safer transport, private security, insurance, home safety measures, or changing travel routes and times.

This is an invisible bill attached to the life of a woman in a country where the fear of violence can accompany her on the streets, in public transport, at work, and even in her own neighborhood.

Daily Safety Expenses

Women are often advised to avoid walking alone, running, or using isolated routes. They are recommended to share their location, carry protective items, remain vigilant, and have emergency service numbers handy. However, each such measure requires a certain price—whether financial, emotional, or both.

While some women try to figure out if they can afford another level of protection, families mourn other women whose lives have already been cut short. Recent cases of women's deaths in eKhuruleni have drawn intense attention to this fear: according to the government's Interdepartmental Committee on Gender-Based Violence and Femicide, nine female bodies were found in different areas between July and September.

These deaths have once again raised questions about women's safety, the responsibilities of the state and society, and whether women should spend their lives waiting for violence before they can move freely in their communities.

When Disappearance Becomes a Lifelong Trauma for the Family

For Ian Cameron, a DA MP and Chairman of the Parliamentary Portfolio Committee on Police, the human cost of violence is familiar. He recalled the case of Clio Diko, a mother of three, who went missing in October 2022. 'I still think about Clio Diko,' he recalls. For three months, her family did not know her whereabouts.

In January 2023, Diko's decomposing body was found hidden under a bed in Mandalay, Cape Town. Cameron reported that there was a rope around her neck, and the body was covered in cement and tiles. She was eventually identified through DNA testing. Cameron noted that his team from Action Society supported Diko's family throughout the entire legal process, observing multiple postponements while the mother dealt with the trauma after finding her daughter's remains. In March 2024, Sandile Jegwa pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 20 years in prison for Clio's murder.

Although the conviction brought justice, Cameron emphasized that it could not erase what the family had gone through up to that point. He stated that 'justice prevailed,' but the period between Diko's disappearance and the verdict was a time of uncertainty and grief that her family had to endure. Diko's story showed that the impact of violence does not end with the discovery of the body or the appearance of the accused in court. It is the 'human cost' of the word 'postponement.'

The case also highlighted another issue in the gender-based violence crisis: what happens to families after a woman disappears or is murdered. For families awaiting answers, any delay means another period of uncertainty, and every postponement prolongs the grief.

A Woman's Dignity Does Not End With Her Death

The Soul City Institute warns that women should not be held responsible for preventing violence committed against them. The organization notes: 'It is deeply disturbing that women are repeatedly found abandoned, injured, partially clothed, and displayed in public places.' Soul City asserts that a woman's dignity does not disappear after her death. 'A woman's body does not lose its dignity because she died. She is not a statistical victim of a crime. She is not a warning. She is not a headline.' She was someone's daughter, mother, sister, partner, friend, and community member. 'She is a person whose dignity must be protected in life and after death.'

Soul City also questioned the approach to giving safety advice to women during police investigations. Police urged women in the Kempston Park area not to walk or run alone, especially in isolated areas, and to travel or exercise in groups. While such precautions may be necessary during an investigation, Soul City believes that women cannot be required to reorganize their lives around the threat of violence. The institute insists: 'The responsibility for violence committed against women cannot be placed on the women themselves.' They argue that safety advice should not turn into another form of victim-blaming, questioning why women should risk being killed just for walking, running, working, or traveling home. 'Women should not have to restructure their entire lives because men decide to commit violence.'

A Crisis Requiring More Than Police

Soul City stated that this crisis cannot be solved by law enforcement alone. The organization called for an urgent coordinated response involving SAPS, municipalities, prosecutors, communities, transport authorities, civil society, and other relevant institutions. Its recommendations include thorough investigation of every death, holding perpetrators accountable, creating safer public spaces, improving lighting and transport safety, as well as adequate oversight and prompt local police patrolling, alongside continuous work with men and boys on issues of power, rights, consent, and healthy masculinity.

Furthermore, the institute called for a survivor and family-centered response that protects privacy, dignity, and emotional well-being, as well as responsible media and social media coverage that does not sensationalize female bodies or disseminate graphic images. Soul City stressed that South Africa must move towards prevention instead of waiting for another woman to die before systems start acting.

The Bill Women Should Never Have Had to Pay

However, for women, the cost of living under the shadow of gender-based violence is already being paid. It is paid through panic buttons and safety subscriptions, self-defense classes, and the use of safer transport. It is paid through the fear that turns a simple walk home into a risk calculation. And for families like Diko's, this bill is paid in years of uncertainty, grief, and the wait for justice. South Africa cannot continue to treat every death as an isolated tragedy while women are forced to bear the financial and emotional burden of self-protection. As Soul City said: 'We must stop normalizing the abnormal.'

Two sisters from Saharanpur started a business with minimal investment using their skills at home
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Two sisters from Saharanpur started a business with minimal investment using their skills at home

Previously, threads and ribbons lying around the house served only as decoration or a hobby. However, two sisters from Saharanpur found a way to earn money from these items. They are Ayushi and Khushi Diman. Neither sister developed a large-scale business plan, invested millions, nor opened big shops; they started with what they already had at home.

Ayushi began her journey with just 250 rupees. She is educated: she holds diplomas in B.Com, M.Com, and B.Ed. For about two years, she worked as an assistant professor in a college, but health problems and daily commutes made the job difficult, so she resigned. Then the question of the future arose.

Ayushi has always been interested in handicrafts, and her mother knew how to crochet. Seeing her mother work with threads, Ayushi felt a desire to try this skill. Soon, she decided to turn her hobby into a business.

About a month ago, Ayushi made a crocheted flower ring for a college friend. The friend liked the small item so much that orders started coming in afterward. First rings, then cosmetic bags, then phone keychains, and the list of works gradually grew. Now, Ayushi creates bouquets, jackets, sweaters, and soft toys using crochet. Thus, the thread that started it all opened a path to entrepreneurship for her.

Ayushi says that she initially spent about 250 rupees. Currently, sales have reached approximately 4500–5000 rupees, and her net profit has reportedly reached 2500–3000 rupees. But there is more to this story than just earning money. For Ayushi, working with crochet is a kind of solace. She believes that creating something with your hands helps reduce stress. In an era where machines and artificial intelligence perform many tasks, Ayushi believes that handmade items have a special value.

Meanwhile, her sister Khushi saw a video on social media about ribbon products. She had ribbons at home and decided to try making something herself. It worked on the first attempt. That's when Khushi realized that she also had a talent that could be monetized. After that, ribbon flowers, then bouquets, rings, and individually decorated gift baskets started being created.

Khushi's work is characterized by the fact that she uses cardboard boxes that are usually thrown away after consuming chips and snacks, turning them into boxes for gift sets. She then decorates them with chocolate, snacks, jewelry, and other items according to the client's wishes. That is, Khushi prepares the basket exactly as the customer requests. Her products are delivered to clients via Instagram and WhatsApp. However, for Khushi, this is not just a business; there is an old family history behind it.

In 2015, her father passed away. After that, her mother took responsibility for the family, working and raising the children. Being the eldest in the family, Khushi now wants to stand on her own feet independently. Her goal is simple: never to reach a point where she has to ask anyone for help. She wants to earn on her own and become a support for her mother.

Khushi also works employed, continuing to develop her own business in parallel. Her mother never insisted that she focus only on work or only on business. But now, seeing her daughter trying to succeed on her own, her mother feels proud. The business of both sisters is still small: on one hand, it is crochet work started with 250 rupees, and on the other, gift baskets made from household ribbons and old boxes. But their dreams are big.

The story of Ayushi and Khushi perhaps suggests that self-sufficiency does not always begin with large investments or offices. Sometimes it starts in a corner of the house among threads, sometimes from a piece of ribbon, and sometimes from just 250 rupees.

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