The article's author argues that household duties should not define a woman's character. As an example, cases are cited where mothers-in-law praise their daughters-in-law for managing 'domestic affairs,' which is a deeply ingrained problem in the Indian community: conditioning women to believe that their worth is measured by their efficiency in running a household.
A more alarming aspect is that often the women themselves perpetuate this culture. From an early age, girls are taught that competence in domestic life is not just a useful skill but a measure of their character. A girl who cooks is considered 'well-mannered'; one who maintains a flawless home is seen as a 'good wife'; and a daughter-in-law who anticipates everyone's needs is called a 'blessing.' However, a woman who states she does not want to spend her life on such tasks is sometimes labeled as selfish, lazy, arrogant, or incapable of caring for her family.
The author highlights the absurdity of a situation where what should be a shared human responsibility turns into a test of female virtue, forcing women to compete with each other for approval. Mothers-in-law judge their daughters-in-law, daughters-in-law compare themselves to other daughters-in-law, and women compete by comparing kitchens, children, clothing, careers, marriages, and culinary skills.
In this exhausting 'Olympics of Domestic Perfection,' no one asks the most important question: Are they happy? Do they have dreams? Do they know who they are outside the roles of wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, or mother? Society has become remarkably comfortable accepting a woman's ability to dissolve into service; the more she sacrifices, the more virtuous she becomes, and the more she is praised, despite her exhaustion.
However, perhaps we should stop romanticizing exhaustion. The phrase 'she does everything' should not be a compliment; it should prompt us to consider why other people do nothing. A woman should not receive a medal for being able to cook dinner while working a full-time job, raising children, caring for elderly relatives, and maintaining perfect order in the house. She should be given the freedom to say, 'I don't feel like cooking today,' and the world should keep turning.
It is also necessary to abandon the notion that domestic perfection is a sacred legacy that must be passed down from generation to generation. A grandmother surviving without a dishwasher, a mother cooking for ten people—that is wonderful, but it does not mean the daughter must repeat this performance to prove her worth. Progress implies that the next generation can live differently. If technology can ease life, it should be used; if the husband can cook, he should cook; if the children are old enough to clean, they should clean; and if the family can afford help, they should hire someone.
If a woman prefers to spend a Saturday morning writing a novel, drawing, studying, exercising, sleeping, traveling, or simply doing nothing, so be it. Her life does not become less meaningful because of a footprint on the kitchen floor. Perhaps we should ask why women are judged much harsher for an untidy home than men. A man returning from work might receive praise for his fatigue, whereas a woman might be criticized because dinner isn't ready. A man who cannot cook is often considered amusing, while a woman who cannot cook is sometimes viewed as inadequate. This is not tradition; it is a double standard, and we must dare to call it what it is.
The author does not want her daughters to grow up with the belief that the highest achievement is becoming a woman capable of doing everything for everyone else. She wants them to know that their life belongs to them. She wants them to receive an education without hearing that diplomas are useless because 'what's the point when you'll still be washing dishes.'
Of course, if they enjoy cooking, let them cook. But let it be because they love cooking, not because they fear being judged as bad women if they don't. Daughters need to be taught how to cook, but also how to earn money. They need to be taught how to maintain a home, but also how to build a career. They need to be taught how to care for others, but also how to care for themselves. They need to be taught how to serve food, but also that they do not exist to serve everyone. And most importantly—they need to be taught that housework is not unpaid labor for a woman. Because until men understand that domestic responsibility lies with everyone, women will continue to compete with each other over who can bear the heaviest burden.
The author does not want the next generation of Indian women to compete over who can sacrifice more. She wants them to compete over who can dream bigger. Who can walk into a room without guessing if someone has judged the state of their kitchen. The kitchen sink is not a measure of a woman's character. A flawless home is not proof of a good marriage. Perfectly cooked food is not evidence of good motherhood. And exhaustion is not a personality trait. The woman here is not to win the 'Domestic Goddess' Championship. She is here to live, think, create, discover, and become. And perhaps the most radical thing to teach daughters is this: you do not have to earn your worth by making yourself useful to everyone else. Your life can be more than the people you serve. An entire world awaits you behind the kitchen sink. Go and live in it.
The author argues that it is time for women to abandon following others' norms and start living in accordance with their true essence. As a life transformation coach with twenty-six years of experience, the author often ponders what is possible when a person stops living according to societal templates imposed upon them and starts living based on their authentic 'self.'
Especially women, whether they realize it or not, are subjected to humiliation and exploitation, and they are dictated how they should dress, behave, and speak. This conditioning is so deeply rooted that today some women continue to do this to other women, especially those who refuse to be modest and fit into someone's agenda.
A natural question arises: whose interests does our desire to 'fit in' serve? The answer is obvious—those who benefit from it.
For centuries, patriarchy, described as 'wounded or toxic masculinity,' held control over women. From an early age, they are instilled with the necessity to submit to family expectations, social norms, and religious dogmas. None of this created conditions for women to truly flourish.
Instead, they were told: 'Conform. Do what is expected. Put everyone else first.' They were taught to serve the needs, moods, and desires of others.
This list of expectations includes being a good daughter, a good wife, a good mother, a successful professional, a person who keeps everything under control, remembers everyone's birthdays, is always present, and ready to give. The author again asks whose interests this list serves and urges readers to consider where they stood in this line of expectations.
It is time to wake up. It is necessary to start questioning imposed norms instead of quietly agreeing. This is not a revolution, but rather an evolution that begins within the woman herself.
It is time to awaken the goddess within. This goddess represents a sacred part of the personality: bright, joyful, playful, creative, intuitive, wise, and caring. She is also a part of the personality possessing sovereignty. She knows her worth, is capable of saying no, has high standards for herself, realizes her potential, is absolutely true to herself, defends her beliefs, and radiates confidence. She embraces pleasure and leads other women on this wonderful journey toward their own divine state.
Some people, both men and women, may resist this awakening, especially if the conditioning is very deep. However, this change will not be suppressed. Many will look at you with admiration and respect, seeing you as a guide for other women ready to awaken their divine feminine energy.
Toxic men may oppose this process. But a man in his divine masculine state will provide safety, structure, and support for the women in his life, allowing the divine femininity to unfold in all its glory. He understands that with her rise, he rises too.
An era is dawning for the manifestation of both divine femininity and the divine masculine principle. The divine masculine principle is leadership, but it is based on kindness, not control. He is proud of his role as provider and protector not out of egoism, but out of love.
Too many men live in a state of wounded masculinity, unable to lead, provide, or protect, waiting for women to tell them what to do, support them, and take care of them. This state also requires healing, and it is achieved when women embrace their divine femininity.
A woman shining in her glory and greatness, knowing her worth and purpose, attracts the Divine Masculine principle in a man. He takes on the role of provider and protector, and the cycle closes. No more gender struggle, no more competition for power. Instead—wholeness, dignity, and fullness of being. From this arises sacred partnership—the next stage of our evolution.
